I Hate You Japan

Your trash situation stinks.

Here's why:

1. Your public trash cans are few and far between. Parks, malls, sidewalks, bus stops, streets, shopping centers — very rarely will there be a bin or dumpster to pitch anything. Needless to say I walk around with my trash in my purse more than I'd like to admit.

2. You obsessively over-package everything. Each piece of fruit has not only its own styrofoam jacket for padding, it might also sit in a waxed paper tray then be wrapped in saran wrap or sit in a clear plastic container. And inside of a box or bag, every cookie or cracker or dried fig or chocolate covered almond is often wrapped in plastic ... individually. WTF!

3. Your residential trash removal system is draconian. I have to buy expensive, special yellow bags in which to put burnables, meaning anything other than recyclables. I have a mere three hours (5am-8am ... really?) in which I must deposit the bag in the small cage down my street, twice a week.

4. You have no donation bins. I asked around and people looked at me like no one wants your gross old clothes and said they just throw theirs away because, duh? doesn't everyone? We're supposed to pitch clothes, shoes and any other cast-offs into the burnable trash. People here really like to buy everything brand new so second-hand and thrift stores are very selective about what they take AND you have to stand in line just to get 15 cents for anything. Not happening. Besides, it's difficult for me to hang around for too long in a store called "Hard Off" thankyouverymuch.

5. Your recycling system is a thing of nightmares. Mostly because I have to do all the work. Milk cartons have to be rinsed, cut, flattened and dropped off at the grocery store in a special bin. Clear plastic (sushi) containers, styrofoam trays, and bottle caps each have their own bins there too. All the bins are always overflowing. Glass bottles are placed in small crates left out on our street the night before pick up, which occurs every other week during another early three hour window of time, but on a different day than the burnable trash. Paper is flattened into no more than 24" square and bound with paper string. Plastic bottles go in an even more expensive special clear plastic bag and are also picked up every other week during yet another short window of time. Same goes for aluminum cans, and if you have old batteries, they go in a smaller special clear plastic bag inside the bag with the cans. Aerosol cans, which must be punctured before recycling, go with the glass. Yes, punctured. Yard waste must be sorted and bound according to thickness and type, then placed in larger special plastic bags; it's only picked up once a month. Pet waste is to be flushed down the toilet. Kitchen organic waste is left draining in the sink until it's dry at which point it's put in another plastic bag and added to burnable trash.

So. If you actually got through all that, imagine how I feel. It's practically a full-time job. To make matters worse, recycling days switch around sometimes based on holidays, sometimes not. I learned all of this the hard way. When I get it wrong, the neighborhood association ladies come round to let me know. It's a good thing they're so polite or I'd bitch slap them.

Unsurprisingly, litter in Japan is a big problem for all the reasons listed above. It seems I'm not the only one who feels the system is utterly retarded. Beaches in particular are literally dumping grounds. So much that I simply do not go there. Don't believe me? Here's a photo of the beach near my house.

This goes for miles in both directions. Imagine my surprise and horror. It's disgusting and sad as fuck. Broken glass is all over the place. So no, I won't be walking my dogs out there. EVER.

Here's some rusted out hi-fi equipment (probably Sony) next to a fire pit. That seems safe. Toxic? Nah!

This is a pachinko slot machine on one of the coastal walking trails. Quaint, no?

I call this "Still Life with Ski Boot"

And this was dumped under the bridge near my house where I DO walk my dogs. It wasn't the first TV I've seen out there.

Took this photo on our walk three days ago.

Yeah ... I used to really care about the environment. Like, a lot. But I no longer give a fuck thanks to Japan.

Now that you're depressed and probably feeling suicidal (sorry!) I promise that my next post will be about the nice side of Japan. Trust me, it does exist.

★

Escape to a Tiny London Flat

Okay, I'm spoiled. In August I spent ten days in London, one of my favorite cities. After almost a year in Japan where I'm a total freak-of-nature-mutant-alien-outsider, it was amazing to be somewhere I don't scare the shit out of everyone because I look "just like their favorite zombie comic book character". (Awesome.)

Unwanted Japanese fame aside, I'm all about renting apartments when I travel. It's less expensive than a hotel and I get a much better sense of a place when I pretend to live there. (Uh, take-out anyone?) Besides, I have a short-term rental apartment so I consider this research and development.

Hahahaaa. As if.

Anyway, in my travels I've used Arbnb, VRBO, Homeaway, and private rental companies but this time I went with One Fine Stay, a new company letting homes and apartments in London, Paris, New York, and Los Angeles. I was impressed by the way they present properties, their styling and photography.

My spouse was there for work (officially) and this lovely little studio apartment in the middle of swank Chelsea is where we "lived". The flat is small but charming and was perfect for two. The wee kitchen is a converted closet but has a window, an under-counter fridge, a two burner stove and even a half-sized dishwasher. (No dishwashers in Japan, so this was decadent.)

The bathroom was luxurious, considering my Japanese bathroom is utter utilitarian sadness. (I hate it.)

One Fine Stay is still a young company, and our stay wasn't entirely problem-free but overall the flat was comfortable and the staff was responsive (if sometimes slow) to our requests. A staff member meets you there to get you set up and they even give you an iPhone, a major advantage when navigating a foreign city.

Maybe it was the time of year or global warming or the influx of Russian gangster money or being surrounded by the English language again but London was just what we needed. It was a smashing holiday and now I cannot wait to go back.

★

Japanese coffee culture

I'm a coffee addict, I admit it. And fortunately for me, baristas in Japan do magic with coffee. In fact they obsess over it in ways we westerners didn't think possible, specifically the hand pour. I recently found 08COFFEE, a sweet little coffee spot that reminds me there's a lot to love about Japan. (Sometimes I forget.)

Not only is their art-filled space well designed, bright, and relaxing, but 08COFFEE also does artisan small batch roasting on-site. The young, gracious owners offer select high quality beans as well as top-notch espresso drinks (somehow served at precise drinking temperature) as well as delicate, not-too-sugary cakes. Good stuff.

I love the unpretentious attention to detail and how they used flat white paint, raw wood, and other natural materials like linen sheets with grommets as curtains to bring their funky little space together. This kind of effortless, tasteful design in Japan has proven less common than I'd hoped. But I'm gonna find it if it kills me.

Photos by me | iPhone + VSCO

★

Why I write

When I moved to Japan from Denver last fall, I left behind some amazing friends. Monika and I were neighbors and quickly developed a close friendship for our fanatical love of dogs, design, travel, dirty chai, liquor, and zombies. Monika recently took the online plunge and launched Tails Around the Ranch, a totally rad, hilarious blog about life with Sam, the sweetest most entertaining therapy hound in Denver. The pair spends weekends visiting sick and dying people to help them cope, which they usually accomplish just by walking through a patient's door. So yeah, they’re my fucking heroes okay? Anyway, Monika invited me to finally get my super secret blog out into daylight ... and here goes. 

How does my writing differ from others in my genre? Designpunk isn't mainstream material, it's more design-meets-dark-humor-meets-punkrock and then jets to Japan. Yeah ... it's clearly not for everyone. I can be harsh. I use profanity. I don't pretend to be an expert. I also live in Japan which sort of makes me an enigma without even trying.

Why do I write? To throttle the madness. And learn new words.

How does my writing process work? I start with a simple idea and usually end up somewhere else entirely. That's probably wrong ... but hell, it keeps me entertained which is all that matters.

What I’m working on: After flunking out of ninja spy school I decided to learn something about photography. I even bought a good camera and you know that means this shit just got real.

★

Feast of Merit

I saw this on tumblr and suddenly I feel like I need to go there, wherever this is. Like right now.

Okay good, at least Melbourne was already on my list. Turns out to be even better than it looks. From their website:

Nagaland is a region in far North-eastern India where the tradition of Feast of Merit was born. In Naga culture, when someone within the community acquires a position of wealth, they can choose to hold a festival – Feast of Merit. The whole community – including the poor and disadvantaged – is invited to join together to share the fruits of the person’s wealth. The feast lasts until all of their assets – everything of value – are shared amongst all of the community. This can often take many weeks. At the end of the festivities, the person is gifted with a golden cloak: the highest sign of recognition. This person returns to their life with no wealth or riches, but with the respect and gratitude of the whole village. We come into this world with nothing. Like the people of Nagaland, we believe merit lies with those that choose to give away what they accumulate.

Now I feel like I should go just to volunteer.

feast of merit | perrett ewert leaf architects | via remainsimple.tumblr.com

★

High & Low Kyoto

I'm planning a trip to Kyoto next week. Last minute as usual. I usually troll Tripadvisor for a couple hours trying to find well-designed places to stay, funky neighborhoods, and good grub. This half-assed attempt at planning works shockingly well. I also scope Lonely Planet, NY Times 36 hours, Remodelista, and Design*Sponge city guides. I don't end up actually visiting most of the places in those guides but they provide the basics.

My trolling yesterday produced two places to stay, one high end and one low. Check it out.

This is Piece Hostel Kyoto. And it's the LOW end.

Who really needs high end with that place? Well, it IS still a hostel with shared bathrooms ... etc.

Next up, Hotel Anteroom Kyoto. Fuck yeah, sign me up.

I probably won't stay in either place this time because I procrastinated so much. Next time though? I'm so fucking there. And maybe one day, ONE DAY, I'll even put together a travel guide to let the world know where to go or not go in Kyoto. (Oh yeah, and maybe all the other cities I've visited too? I'm so funny.)

★

Godzilla Christmas in Japan

Merry Merry! How can you not love GZ?

Lame Excuses For Not Blogging

 

I've been remiss about blogging since March. March! 

Here goes the list:

1. Our house sold in three days and we bought a new, smaller one about ten blocks away. What can I say? I like the neighborhood.
2. My spouse is living and working in Beijing. Yes, that big city in northern China. We are still very much together. But there are approximately 6,356 miles between us now. I should write a post titled 'How FaceTime saved my marriage' because it has. I wanted change ... I got it.
3. I'm insecure and think my posts are pointless and stupid compared to all the ones I read and like with beautiful photographs and witty, knowing comments by real artists, writers and designers who consistently blog AND have full time jobs, children, picturesque travel adventures, lavish dinner parties, and cats. (Why do they all have cats?) I can't even bring myself to tell anyone about this blog. So no one actually reads it anyway.
4. I've been working on the new house.
5. The novelty of blogging wore off.
6. I've been traveling a lot to faraway places like, oh, China. Been there twice. I also went to South Korea, before we knew about the job in Beijing.
7. I suck. (See my last post.) I even quit my job so, in theory, I should have more time to do this blogging thing. (Maybe it's that word 'blogger' in the American accent that bothers me. Blah-gging. Blaahh-gger. Blech. I should start using that hidden British accent of mine.)

Okay, that was just all kinds of sadness. It's not like I don't have ideas or material overflowing from my head about which to write. Although cohesiveness could be an issue.

Sigh.

I'm trying to get through this. It's my personal favorite First World Problem for the moment. 

Oh, the photograph above is stolen from my uncle Ed. He's an architect/photographer in Western Austrialia. He doesn't know I stalked him online and found his Flickr photostream. I'm not going to tell him. It's my favorite photo of the whole lot. Well, today it is. I have no idea what he was shooting, something in or around Fremantle. One day soon I will visit him and take my own beautifully styled, profound photographs of unfamiliar abandoned Australian industrial areas that will speak directly to the creative souls of my readership ...

But probably not.

Design Complex

Do you have a friend who is simply better at everything? I do. It's super annoying. We've been best friends since we were sixteen. She's the one with the chesterfield. And she has innate skill in art, architecture, design, and photography. She has an incredible vocabulary and the ability to write better than most people who write for a living. She also has car show worthy vintage cars and hot rods. Really? She can build furniture and weld too? She gutted her house and rebuilt it from the studs to a sublime state of interior design? She's also a badass graphic designer. And, because her husband owns a hair salon, she always has the best punk hair and clothes to go with it. Shut the fuck up. Why isn't she writing this blog?

So. I'm trying to get past this.

Example:

Hers:

Umm ... mine:

See what I mean?

What can I do that compares to such annoying talent? Not much. I can, however, get around on the London underground. Speak French, German, and several German language dialects. Find the best restaurant within a 5-mile radius in a city I've never been to. Strike up a conversation with just about anyone. Discuss the finer points of dog aggression. Vaguely remember why WWII started. Make kick ass Irish scones. Recommend several hundred movies you'll thank me for. Use Windows and Mac (in the same day). And telemark ski down 14 thousand foot mountains. I'm really good at painting (walls). And killing plants. That's something right?

Oh. None of those relate to design. Point? It's possible 1) I should be writing about an entirely different subject or 2) I've spent a good portion of my life admiring other people's bullshit and haven't given myself the chance to explore anything art related for me. Has this happened to other people, or am I just the punk who lets my artist friends keep me around to make them look and feel good?

Well pals, guess what. Those days are over. I've been watching you. I see what you do. Now I too will scoff at and criticize Everything Art. I will say things like "this section seems unresolved" and make it sound constructive and knowing when really it's just lame. Even if I think it's great. Especially if it's yours and I think it's great.

Fuck yeah.