Where Real People Live

I could live here.

Not surprisingly, I peruse myriad photographs of interiors. While some are dead-on inspired, I prefer seeing real places, where actual breathing people might live.

This Swedish apartment is like that. Obviously styled and shot by professionals but still looks entirely livable.

I forgive them for cramming the rest of their clothes behind that curtain for this shot.

Do you prefer propped, staged and styled or messy, unfinished and real?

Photos from Stadshem via Homesick.

★

My Tiny Mountain Studio Loft

During the summer and fall last year, before I fled the country and moved to Japan with two big dogs ... before all of that ... I bought and renovated a studio loft in Vail, Colorado. Why? Hard to say. Oh wait, probably because 1) I'm certifiable, and 2) a few years ago I decided to become a real estate tycoon. Putting aside the subject of my life intentions for the moment, the work is done and I'm renting it short-term. If we ever get back to Colorado, it will be our small but sick little second home. And I'm stoked about that because then I'll feel wealthy and special even if I'm neither.

As you can see it's not your typical mountain kitsch, which was my intention. No vintage skis or snowshoes on the walls thank you very much. I'll post before/after project shots but for now you get this. Or see more of it here. There's an updated post on it with much better photos here. And please check out its website. You can also rent it! Or tell your rich skier friends and their rich skier friends to rent it. Poor redheaded step children who snowboard are also welcome. I don't discriminate yo. Just pay me.

I miss my old barcelona

17 ways to make coffee

Karlstad sofabed

Cozy loft bedroom

Ikea love

Subway & marble

Buying It

I sold real estate for a brief time. That is one cut-throat world of corruption. Bounced that job real quick. I've since bought six properties and sold four. Here are a few suggestions when buying, mostly from mistakes I've made. 

+ Trust your gut. If you walk in and feel it just feels right, it probably is. If you walk in and walk right out again, it probably isn't for you. This tip is from my mother and it's a good one.

+ See the light. Visit at different times throughout the day to see how the light comes and goes. Does it come at all? No matter how goth you want to be, darkness is probably not something you want to endure for years to come.

+ Patience and money. If it's a place you're hoping to renovate, you'll need lots of both. Be realistic about how much you can spend and how much improvements cost. When you estimate the price of a project, multiply by 3 and you'll get close.

+ Never trust your real estate broker, he or she is ONLY trying to make the sale. Even if it's your sister-in-law.

+ Don't be stupid. Don't believe anything an inspector, agent, or homeowner tells you unless you find information to back it up on your own. If your home inspector finds a big problem, depending on what it is have a plumber, electrician, roofer, or structural engineer take a look at it. They're the real experts and will give you an estimate for the work while they're at it.

+ Follow your building inspector around on inspection day and make them explain everything in detail. They miss stuff all the time so test things yourself like windows, lights, outlets, faucets, drains, etc. Go to town.

+ Do research. Public records are online and will tell you if it's been bought or sold recently. One of our brokers neglected to tell us the home had sold for less than half the price just a few months prior, and we already had a contract on it. Fired that bitch.

+ Location is crucial but it's not everything. Don't buy something just for its location especially if it's overpriced or because people say the word three times in a row.

+ Don't rush. It's the largest wad you'll ever blow, so talk it over. A lot. To death. More than they do on HGTV shows.

+ Soul search. In other words, ask yourself if it's really you. Look very closely. Is it?

+ Don't borrow more than you can afford right now. And, if possible, get a 15 year loan. Markets crash and circumstances change so play it safe.

+ Expect surprises. Both good and bad will happen once you're in. Home ownership has a steep learning curve. You will have buyer's remorse at some point. Absolutely no doubt about it. You will come up with insulting nicknames for whomever you bought it from. Completely normal.

Hate Is Not a Big Enough Word

 

Granite & Slate. Slate & Granite. This pair.

Certain rooms in my house ooze of these ubiquitous late 90s material. And I have grown to loathe them for they do not belong in my house or in my life.

Not all slab granite resembles endless layers of potato bug vomit and bile abstractly choreographed on a blackened dance floor of sleek hard rock. Not all granite has the calculated intelligence to camouflage a half-gallon puddle of liquid so acutely that I inevitably set a newspaper, magazine, or freshly laundered item exactly there, upon it. No, not all granite is created equal.

As for you, slate. You are so very earthy and neutral. You are considerate enough to look exactly the same before and after I scrub filth from your porous surface, yet you remain so painfully dull and lifeless. Where did you come from and how did you get in my house? Specifically, how did you get in my entry, kitchen, laundry room, three bathrooms, mud room and, yes, on my front porch? When we first met, you blended so expertly into your surroundings that I never, not once, stopped to consider that you have no place in a historic home. How ever did you escape your big box suburban sea of innocuous cul de sac, where people not only accept you, they covet you? Are you slate of a masochistic variety because why would you willingly sentence yourself to a life of humiliation here in my little abode?

What have I done to deserve this sublime duality of pedestrian decor? I blame myself for turning a hurried, blind eye to these surfaces before it was too late and I found myself trapped by their perfect balance of banality.

★

Head First

We bought our brick foursquare in September 2007 after living in Austria for three years. My overachieving spouse was starting grad school and I was in need of employment. We still owned a rental apartment in Vail that needed to be fixed up before selling, and that would pay for the new house. In theory anyway.

For some reason that completely escapes me now, I thought it would be punkrock to own a historic Denver square. Location was crucial and we found it in one of the great old streetcar suburb on the Northside, now referred to by gentrifiers as West Highland. The boy commutes to the university by bike, and I wanted quick access to downtown via public transportation. It was now or never to buy our first stand-alone home. We probably overpaid for a turn-of-the-century house that had been quickly revamped by a shady DIY contractor. We were fresh off the boat, new to the city, and in a hurry. We jumped. Without knowing, at all, what we were in for. Dumbfucks.

Here's an advertisement similar to what the original owner probably used to build it.

Modern Home No. 52 from the Sears Modern Homes Mail Order Catalog

UPDATE: Sold it! Thank gawd. We did a ton of work to it (none of which I blogged about because I'm lame) but it reached a breaking point and started driving me batshit crazy. Too big, too much garden maintenance, an odd floor plan, and it never really felt right. The real estate market crashed just after we bought it so we were VERY fortunate to make a profit on it. Its location next to the shops at 32nd & Lowell sold it more than anything. Well, and my super cool decor styling apparently because there was a bidding war and it sold in three days. The winning buyers wanted to buy a bunch of our furniture and our garden stuff and some other odd things, and they wanted us to get the fuck out and QUICK. It was a bit creepy and their broker was an idiot bitch but whatever, they coughed up the cash and who the hell cares. I do hope they're happy with it. Here are all the real estate photos, check out those crazy over-saturated colors.

★