A Day in the Life of Me ... in Japan

People have been asking, "What are you doing every day there?" So I’ve concocted a retort for this dodgy line of questioning. Because I'm snarky and rude.

"I get up every day, slip on my kimono and Hello Kitty slippers, hold a matcha tea morning ceremony with my pet robot, eat rice cake deftly sliced with my samurai sword, read some manga, write a little haiku about zen buddhism, do a bit of bonsai trimming, and watch a sumo match on my Sony TV. Then I put on my ninja kit, head to jujitsu class on the bullet train, eat sushi before origami class after which I do volunteer work for earthquake victims. Until I get hungry and go to a ramen or udon shop and get so drunk on sake I sing karaoke until I pass out in a capsule hotel bed watching Godzilla.”

There. Happy? Now fuck off.

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